Deifinition of a thingimijig. err aaa that errr remote control.
Wise man who writes this site, says he is the modern nostradamus, sometimes he has a sniffily nose, and is snot radamus
Would it not have been better if the kaiser, tsar, and austrian emperor, had just had a big paint ball battle, and retired, as kings, for republics, then there would not have been 70million deaths in world war one. and the flu epidemic they caused.
Where do the the most decadent monarch on Earth live, when she in a bad mood Fuckingham palace, not Buckingham Palace,
The secret service are getting scared, they have been told watch out for certain things
In their offices they have had plants, namely flowers, a gorilla was said to be following one of their agents, namely a silverbackm, and recently they saw a russian mole, in their building, yes a mole, that was let out of a garender's back, and had the red flag on as a coat. and was digging up the garden. of the head of it. The fcat is though he was sending lisetning device info to Communist Party HQ.
No wonder so many people do the toilet in abandoned buildings, or for sale buildings TO LET they just imagine the I in the mioddle toilet
In our place the signs don't just sday, POLICE SLOW,. they say POLICE IDIOTs
A good joke is to go round to someone's house, and say, hay, that video, you have on your computer, is it as you have a farmer friend, you know who wants to see how animals mate, hahahahah very funny, you need to be closee for that freindship, not a test as some will hate you even then
Today I was on the main road, and I decided to go another route to my office, as a rally had diverted it,.
Little was I to know as I looked to mny left but the rally car beside me had a man, in it they were arguing, one of them was holding the map upside down, and they were pushing eachother
Long Vehicles have long vehicle written on the, YOU DONT SAY.
The most popular car for newly marrieds in Saudi Arabia, is the people carrier, 7 seats for 7 wives
And here we have news, of what some people are having for Christmas this year, Winnie the Pooh is not having Turkey he is having honey, and Paddington Bear is having marmalade.
I saw a sign today, it said in debt as you saw this sign last year, why not take another loan to pay this debt off
A man disguises himself, and some people come into the room, and discuss their schemes for doing criminal, acts, he stands up, he was a coat,
I looked through some book of a famous inetelectual, thinking his writing would be illuminating, instead of things he has things written down, like I am king of the Moon people, and things like that, and that picture looks like a chicken,
Will not say that Oliver Stone, is obssesed, but I was watching Any Given Sunday and he was going on, on the commentry about the assasination of JFK,
jfk IS a fave film, of mine, says wise man
Have you noticed, the words, cyclepath, and al these words, sound like terms for mad, criminals,
You know people ask me, what is the largest joke book in the world, I tell them it is a dictionary, you know a dictionary is really just a book written by some very ironic Americans, for instance the first words, like A, when they say examples of it's use are just some people saying, the word, a , in a Danny Devito style way, they are writing it like, huhh, you know, like pick up a, piece of paper, to lift a arm, and in other things it is this other fellow, saying things like a elephant, well big 4 legged thing large trunk, and at the end, he is always putting his hand out, and pulling a face, in irony,
Which place in Britain is most apologetic, Surrey (Sorry), what is the rudest, Norfolk (No Fuck!)
I was told to describe myself in 3 words, I said, I am very,
I was hit in my car by a bishop as it was a act of god I got no insurance pay out
Here are some untrue facts,
Did you know Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter were both victims of attempted assaination by Whoppee cushion,
It was only when the assasins arealised these devices are not explosive that the dastardly plans failed,
And that Sense And sensibility's opening premiere, was the scene of 5000 whoopee cushions, a record breaking event,
If you would like to see some true facts about whoppee cushions, you can have a look about this site
Name the one of the last 3 US presidents not to born in the USA,
For this question Both George Bush, and Bill Clinton were born in the US, and so was George Bush, infact none were,
Hold on bear with us, bear with us, no hold on there is a bear with us,. and it is eating all our honey
My funniest April Fools day, joke, is saying I am just going to post this letter, then I say, April Fools,
People in Central Asia, like animals,. they have lassie, lhasa, the capital of tibet,. kabul, ka bull of afghans, and Katmand do, cat man do
A site saying some great jokes.
But some more jokes down the page
Wise man says Canberra, or Wellington might be furtheest cap[itakls
from other capitals
Wise man, says there were Records Books, before the Guiness Books of Records, but they were just written by snise people, in 1788, in France, and they said things like, oh my god, look at him,, he balanced 10 plastic cups on his head. and uuuh, what did he do that for. happily these snobs were jailed by the french revolution
What do hunters call seals Cullin
In work I always used to boast say anytime, and I will tell you a historical fact that shows I know everything, I always said it at 1549, for the Battle of Mohacs, then som,ebody asked me it at 10 oc loc, I don't know that much.
I run a million pound bank, and told my people to buy Sunflowers' by Van Goch, as a investment, they came back, with a picture of a cawliflower.
I am not saying my big brother is doing dna science, but his cat scratched me, on Tuesday, and since then I hacve grown a furry, back, and can only drink milk,
I was taking a diversion on Tueday as a rally diverted us, the main road was chock a block, but one guy was really mad, Ilooked to the right and saw a rally driver had taken a wrong turning, he was going mad, the other guy the helper had his map book upside down, and was saying, bear right bear right, do not bear right there is a bear there,
You know I have a great affinity with all those people in segragation era Georgia who were banned from going on golf courses, I too was banned, as I often drove across the local golf course on my way to work, for a long cut, and and for fun,
I hear all the local skinheads, say if the monarchy is voted out in a referenda, they will whip themselves down the street, they also say they will if they are not, as they are sado massicists,.
More jokes below this list of links to sites,
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More sites of ours |
A link to the hilarious comedy here is an aexample of the joke , A butler is pissing in the bath, his employer says, waht are you doing, he says urine my lord
I said to a guy who bought a limited edition new ferrari I saw your car down the market selling for a tenner. theres a huge bundle of them
A link to the semi joke, semi seirous
Women's personality is more important than looks, as a very beutiful women, may torture you and hate you so much she makes herself look ugly, while a ugly women, with good persona for you will make herself look best for you, so ugly nice better than beuty evil,
I have been having back breaking work, yeah while lying down for a rest I was on a sore bed
Here is a page of less funny jokes,come back to this page if you don't like it,
Don't idiots always think you are an idiot, Today at reception some idiots came to my office, and asked where is the free champagne, I said, we don't have any free champagne, tnhey said, he doesn'y know anything, he does not know about the free champagne, I said, the President hotel,in a town 38.8 miles away is offering the wine. They said, bloody ell, well wheres the President, I said, oh it's somewhere on the prom of that town, they said, where's that, her husband said, we haven't had are cup of tea yet, I said, the prom is somewhere near the railway station, she said, what are you saying what are youy saing where is the cahmpagne, anyway I gave them directiosn to the President hotel, and they said, bloody ell, where's are cup of tea, in a mood, of looking as if I had not done them, a good deed, with them asking where is this prom,
A site on the scottish league of the imagination
A site saying some ideas of how to improve yourself
improveyourself.htm
Wise man say personality more important than looks, as a attractive woman, with a evil persona, will make you feel unhappy and make herself magicly ugly, and the ugly nice lady will not, and you will get used to her, may magicly do reverse
I made a new site today in the morning, on the toilet,
Buy this I Saw Teggie T Shirt for 15 Pounds
Here is a list of unfound animals, Yeti, Bunyip, small oragnutan in Sumatra (not a monster in a away), nessie, that nessie style monster in the other Scottish lake, muc-sheilch., and Llyn Tegid Bala Lake, and the Ben Macdui big grey man, yeti style creature, big foot, zambia monster of the river, abominable snowman, the yeti style creatute of Central Asia
Where you need to go, if you are interested in the Yeti
They say they are going to have cars running on alcohol, in these parts people have been running on alochol in their cars for years
Why are young skinheads peadophiles, as their weird looking women are too.
This the kind of thing some people do when they recive those con artist emails off Sierra Leoneans, who claim they have been orphaned and need some money to restart their bank account,. They say, hoh hoh hoh, Good chance for money, And send back a email saying dear lady dear lady, pretty little thing, you deserve the best, and they are laughing to themselves thinking the weill be made, rich when it is just a scumabg exploiting them really the con artists are bad, and the dumb attitude stupid people deserve to be conned is like saying we all desrve to be hit by a asteroid, or be drowned, as we do not have defences by them,
Today I saw some Nazis standing by a charity shop moaning there were not enough white peopkle on the charity wall, of my work place, they claimed they were not racist and came up to me and asked why there are so many, as they knew I worked there, They said why don't you put white people on the wall, I told them if they they are nor racist,k why are they botherted, and do they expect there to be lots of white peiople in Darfur, they said, they were not racist and that they just did not wnat loads of black people on the, I said surely that meant they were racist, and wnhy were they bothering me, if not to try and push on me their thinking they are superior, to everybody, who looks younger, and is nort them, attitude that modern racists have, as they listen to self important djs, and read same and same journalisrts who pass on this attitucde of thinking saying a few right wing new mantras, or rubbish statements, makes them some sort of genius, like that knew carppy one, of can a black man, be racist, a statement to try and make us feel racism, is ok, but everyone even them has always said black people, can be racist, so really they are just doing their crappy rubbish warped views, they do this on black peopkle, then the rest of us like us celts, and then loads of people, its so rubbish, and moaning, well thats life, and they all got angry, and started to try and kill me, (I exajerated allot of this story) actually I just walked past some idiots saying all this, idiots stuff,
I was working the library where they keep that beautifully drawn Celtic manuscript I tore a bit off to write some stuff, my to do list, you might think this would lead to disaster, actually the head came along and asked what I was writing, I clicked open the other half of the piece of paper, from my blank bit I had doodled on, and it revealed the magnificent colours of this scroll, they thought I drew it, and made the head of all libraries in Europe,
What does a Nazi, who leaves Nazi Germany join, in Britain, who is one of those child molesters, the British National Paedophiles.
Many Nazis condemn assylum seekers, but what about attention seekers,
They say Andean people have bigger hearts than most people, as of them a being a so a higha upa, well what a that must make them the kinest people on earth
I was typing on the computer to show, what can be written, just pressing any letters, wildly pressing keye, and the screen said, eat eat eat, cra crap crap
Have you noticed the same, people, who say, do not care about other people, reduce state spending, it does not matter, end all health and safety are the same people who claim slow drivers should go fast, as the person behind them MAY have been in a hurry to go to hospital, well no wonder with these lot about
I was listening to the radio and the same scumbags as ever were moaning about people with accents not like their posh or posh lot they see as slave masters to obey accents lot were on moaning about people of "regional accents", claiming that they were not racist for sayiong, this, I was wondering, iof these nazis, to them here a lower class person, say hello here is the news, and think it sounds like zargor, gerugaboo, the kilingon empire, has invaded earth, and destroyed earth, as they are so angry at what the people say.
i was ill yesteraday, so to proove I was sick, I brought a tape of me being sick, to work,
Why not get look alike of famous people and make them say hello I am so and so, and see how people react,
That rubbish football players, in that team, yeah he like an I pod, as they need to carry him, you know david Gray, in the Celebrities team,
Hoh hoh I have some reasons why remote controls dissapear , worm holes.
Who discovered truffles, were edible, was it some guy who liked eating smelly, lumps, of shit in the forest
I sometimes do not like eating gooseberries, they taste a bit to gooseberryerry at times,
Which saint is most obsssesed with getting things right, st andards
1 Hilarious book of Guiness Book of Records, with records that are just hilarious jokes, like the man who blah blah, actually loads of the records have a funny side.
I was asked how do you spell, personable, I said, hoh hoh hoh, I spell it personable, I do, I hoh hoh dont know how anybody else does
I phoned up a place I did not know if they said P or B, they said P, for prick, I said, youy are insulting, me they said B for banana, hee eeeh
I read that Elam helped destroyed the ancient Ur empire, in Mesoptamia, I suppose you could call this, the process of Elamination.
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