The Last Jokes Page
I said get that fly off the tv, and it said, I am watching this
What does a boxer who greats cheese say, I am the graterest
What doers a general manager do, he manages generals,
I said I know him like the back of my hand, then I looked on the back of my hand, and my face dropped as white as a iceberg, I had never seen that tattoo, of the Mary Cileste on it before, Ho ho I do not really have any tattoos on it,
Which nation would be best at singing, the Union of Soviet Socialist Singing Republics, USSSR singing oh ha ha ha ha ha oh ha hah oh that is so funny, the least funny joke to do with the Soviet Union and singing written by men ever, and funniest on that subject too, oh ho ho ho ho
People were saying, I will keep your idea in mind, so to help them I bought a black board for them to write my rubbish ideas on, good idea, and write them on for them
1 Man is walking along in the desert and says I need water I need water, the people say how long have you been lost, he says I am not I have just been having a hot curry in my picnic,
A man said, knock them out to a comedian, as he was going onto the stage, so he just said knock knock jokes
I can not believe how I did not get that job in the army base, I said, all the rabbits around their fence were great guard rabbits
Who would be the best cleaner singers, Bruce Springstein, and Dusty Springfield they could springclean
Those sheep that book coach trips must feel unhappy at the way they are transported in all those trucks,
I saw a sign that said Frozen Scallops, for so and so much cash, I said to myself that sounds painful,
Now thats funny
My dog has terrible Social Skills, he thought a Louis the fifteenth chaundaleer was a Louis the 16th
Noe for something more serious in between these jokes, FACTS prooving the FRENCH REVOLUTION was good
Now for something still not funny, my jokes, ho ho not really, these jokes are great
Yes here is the finance news, a model dog and a big hat have bought Pall Mall and Mayfair, only for British players of Monopoly that joke, maybe you have different things you move with and different streets in other countries
So you could say Abbysinisa when saying good bye, also Ethiopia, and also in World War One, instead of see you soon, Siegfreid Sasoon
How annoying for bands who have their songs posted on you tube, not only are they not getting any money, but they have the ungrateful watchers slagging them off half the time too,
I read there is a company called Guess, it must be annoying for the people reading their report, they say and guess made 0.1 million dollars proffit from some deal, and people say gee I wonder who maybe it was Lonympics, or hey maybe it was Dell, people guess, it was Guess,
If you are alone, a good idea is to draw a face on your thumb and talk with Mr Thumb, though he may so how he is crazy ho ho I joke,
People says why he always lights up the room when he comes into the building, it is as he turns the light on
I said could I have a word, and the person said Yes, I said, that will do, thats one word,
Then I said, could I have a word, someone said, oh yes, I said, thats two, I only said one
Dogs maybe say It's a goldfishes life
A psychatrist who says you psychadelic man, as he takes drugs
One of those Tv programmes came on that sometimes have fake 1930s starts to make them look amateurish so I banged teh DVD and it broke, it was not even on a DVd, no I did not
What about o n a game show, in the dark, ofthe audience, are loads of aliens watching with green heads,
If you are tired of smug people, a good idea is to support the bottom team in a league,
Like many famous stars I have a great aura when I go into rooms, for them it is charisma, for me it is my smell, ho ho no I am joking
Why not walk into a casino and throw monopoly money about, putting it in people's pockets saying hey buy yourself a treat, beacuse you would be thrown out
A book 100 things to do with tuna, I dread to think what is written in that book,
I did not understand the Philosphy lecture, so I thought e statements must be jokes, so half way through I styarted laughing heartilly at them all, ho ho only joking
Just imagine a eveil right wing military dictatorship captured a talk show host and tried to interogate him, in the end he would turn the table, and it would be, the interogater saying he grew up in blah blah, and said he want to torture school, and murder college, then blah blah, then he would leave, and the interviewer could escape,
What about all those people named after famous people, as they have the same surname, so their family call them that, in some places it may seem like they are being like a punk, pretending to have a famous persons' name, saying yeah, and also those people who are making punk like ways of saying things like Hey I am Elvis Pressley some people may say ok then and think they are called that, so they are stuck with that,
Why do people call it a stationery cuboard, surely there are no moving ones
Peaches Pizzas for food,
So maybe dracula does not like the light as he only attack alcoholics, so has a hang over,
So what about mice, they go into computer shops to buy a mouse mat, and they are too big for their little holes, they are not as small as needed
So a insult of somebody having a unseen part of the body supposedly resembling a part of a animal, a satire on people who call people things they are not, like somebody getting called tiger tail,
I was told I needed to give more unusual presents so I gave a salamander a lepricorn, and a Nessie,
This actually happened, I am a man but still think it was funny as the interviewer was a liberal, A man was said well you know maybe the reason there are so few women in politics, is as they are not talented enough, he said this to play devils advocate to a woman, or he believed it, he said it a other way which sounded like oh it may be true, the woman then said, what if somebody said that about men, he then spluttered in a way that made it sound as if he thought ot was outrageous, hoh ho well I suppose us men wopuld all react like that, but then he said, just imagine somebody said that about women they would be a outrage, he did say it, ha hah ha hilarious,
The thing I do not like though is 20 years ago, we were in the boys group, and we shouted louder than teh girls, but teh theatre man said the girls shouted louder, I still am angry about that,
What about that sayiong there is always somebody worse off than yourself, talk about encouraging schardenfreude
What about a man campaigning to be university rector in a election says my father always wished I would become this Univeristy''s rector, he gets elected on the touching speech, he then makes a speech with his Dad Mum and all his family beside him saying, He always wished that the univeristy would give him 2 million dollars, he does it a unconvincing way, that shows he is lying, and then he is booed off the stage.
So on a agricultural programme a man went over with a farmer with his pigs to a isle to graze, and they said so what sort of meat do you expect from these pigs, when you come back, the farmer said, meat ehh, what are you talking about, the pigs are paying good money, this is a holiday for them
In a shop a person may say about organic food, in a organic food cafe can I have some preservatives on this please,
An example of jokes we thought of
Some hilarious joke ideas for newspapers
A link to the hilarious comedy
A Website for billionaires to read
Here is a page of less funny jokes,come back to this page if you don't like it, jokesmore.htm
Now some more really laugh out loud jokes, More Jokes we thought of
And more jokeslasters.htm
Computer mouse pad - You can get yours here
A site saying some ideas of how to improve yourself
The end of this great site here are some more jokes Jokesfurther.htm
jokesagain2.htm More great jokes jokesmore2.htm Even more jokes, there are some jokes sites not on this site, listed on our other jokes sites, that are listed on this site, we have 100s of great jokes in this network of websites.
And our last jokes page, of our many joke pages
Now some other people's jokes, better look at our other pages, And also some knock knock jokes we thought up
This page is our index page of all our joke pages, but there are some joke ideas on other pages