Political Comedy Jokes

Election

In some constituencies they say they weight the vote rather than count them. So why don't they just use a heavy iron pencil. To make their paper heavier.

Here is the result of the election. An here is the election swing, and here is the election
climbing frame and slide

One candidate has lost the election. No he has lost it. No one can find it we will have to stop it.

I did so bad in the election I got minus one vote.

I made a mistake at the election booth, I misdirected people they put the votes into the rubbish can.

And asked people to put their rubbish in the ballot box. So the election was won by the Hankie Chief

Choose the name X as the name or symbol for your political group so you win

I put my X on the ballot box, then pirate appeared and started trying to dig up the ground under it. He thought that the X showed where there was treasure.

What about this for a tounge twister United States state department, and it's a real name,

Do any of you like to stay up late watch the election? I do.

But one night an election result was so obvious I fell asleep. When I woke up at 3 o'clock all the people on the election TV show were asleep too.

What not to say to your election boss after a campaign defeat.

What do you mean we were supposed to get the most votes. I thought we were like those TV reality shows. I thought we wanted the other ones to get the most votes. I thought it was voting for someone to be out of the show. So does that mean when I was asking people if they were going to vote for you and sticking my thumb up when they said no. I was not helping.

I put an egg on the ballot box, because it said put an X on the ballot paper.

Ways to cheat --- Do not do this we believe in democracy this is just

When you Choose name a for ballot paper Choose

"Mr Lonympics 70,000 votes".

Choose a name, "Don't pay any attention to the votes, this vote is a fraud. Mr Lonympics won by a land slide

he has been cheated"

Put invisible pens in the areas where your opponent is going to do well.

Drive around at 5 o'clock in the moring shouting out the name of your opponent pretending to be doing a campaign for him.

Create a fake election opponent who criticizes you in extreme as a critic, who turns out 2 days before the election to be a liar who admits everything he said was rubbish. This will make the other opponent appear, as if they have been caught up in same scandal.

Make a fake election booth in the area where your opponent will do well.

Get people to spread so much outrageous rumour - scandalous rubbish about you, that when people do spread a true scandalous tale about you, no one takes it as serious.

What did the admiral Goat say when I asked him who he would vote for?

If my boat

had a vote

It would vote

for my goat

On a note

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